Thursday, January 04, 2001

4th January 2001

Happy New Year to one and all. I hope your dreams and expectations
are all realised. What a busy week but first I have to cover some
previous ground that was omitted from the last edition. I forgot to
tell you about the cultural trip to Liverpool on the 22nd. Liverpool
were playing "The Arse" at Anfield. I did not fancy fighting the
"last Saturday before Xmas" mania on the roads so I decided to set
out early Friday. I was plotted up at my mum and dad's house for
lunch and then went out with a very old mate. We walked to a pub in
West Derby which is an area of Liverpool where we spent our
apprentice drinking years in The Sefton and The Barry's (for any
scousers tuning in). We went to a pub called The Standard and met up
with another guy who I hadn't seen for about twenty years and began
what was a really good night out. I was standing at the bar and a
guy who I had worked with when I was with Liverpool Council came
over and introduced himself. He was having a Xmas pint with his two
"lads" (18&21). He looked exactly the same as he did when I last saw
him which was over half a life ago. So if you are reading this Mr
Kirwin, it was great to see you and hopefully I will see you at The
Picket. I ended up in the company of a football team who played for
my mate's old school. After time was called we headed off to a club
on the old school grounds where we could drink until the early
hours. The guys who I was with were all top quality funny scousers
telling great tales. It was great to hook up with the chaps but I
was regretting it soon after when I was awoken by my mum with a
cuppa tea and telling me it was ninety minutes to kick off. I had a
head like a box of frogs!!!!!!!!! I almost considered asking my dad
if he wanted the ticket. I could not face breakfast so I left with a
mars bar and a tangerine in my pocket. Well another first for
me....being at the match with a stinking hangover......not good. We
won four nil but the gloss was taken off by the fact that I was
walking home in freezing wind with a throbbing head. I got back to
my parents and had to have extra time in bed before I could face the
journey home. Three hours later.......right as rain. Steak for
dinner, pick up the mother-in-law, toe it down the motorway, 211
miles in 2hrs 43 minutes, a new world record for the plucky scouser.
The only time I touched my brakes was when a police Range Rover went
past.
Anyway skipping forward to Saturday 30th and a day out with Captain
Blaster. We were due to go and see Fulham play Birmingham but it was
cancelled due to the inclement weather so we had to while away the
afternoon watching some DVD's and chilling with the surroundsound.
We had James Taylor at The Beacon (vibe) and Joni Mitchell Live
which was fucking awesome guitar playing (Joni we really are not
worthy). We then popped out for a veggie curry and then on to Siam
Square which is a Phillipino Karaoke bar. Mark's girlfriend, Mary
Lou, is Phillipino and big on the Karaoke and the Captain has known
to partake. In some parts of Thailand he is known as "Mr Hotel
California". I was too shy to perform by myself so we did "I Saw Her
Standing There" and "She Loves You" together and I had a great time
and it is definitely something I want to do again. The standard was
fantastic and there was nobody who couldn't sing which astonished me.
Moving on to New Year's Eve. I was in Mrs Harris' house in Lewisham
with all the South London posse. Didn't get pissed but had a good
night and good following day. Went to play snooker in an opium den.
There was a sign on the wall in this snooker club that said "The
dealing of drugs will not be tolerated on this premises". Which
obviously means smoke as much gear as you like but don't sell any.
Highlight of this week was something really small but it did crack
me up. The binmen came the other day. Watching the binman trying to
empty the bin when I had crammed it with loads of bags. What does he
expect me to do.....I have three kids who had a lot of excess paper
on Boxing Day as well as my wife and myself and the ma-in-law not
too mention the mince pie boxes, chocolate boxes, empty toy
boxes......etc. He puts the bin on the back of the lorry and it tips
up and doesn't empty so he has another go....still not empty...and
again....still not empty....getting pissed off now.......one more
go........eventually has to put his gloved hand in and actually
touch my rubbish and throw it petulantly into the back of the truck!
You should have seen his face. I mean I have to sympathise with this
tasking and difficult job of wheeling a bin ( a bin on wheels!! )
three yards to the back of a truck and then wheeling it back three
yards when it's empty. Why should I be so grateful to these guys for
providing a service that I pay for. Happy New Year to you too mate!!
On to today's adventure. I took a radiator off the wall and all the
plaster was blown and I had to take the plaster off and re-plaster
it.....aaaah! If I ever come across the "plumber" who did my house
again I will kick his balls..........hard.

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