12th February 2000

I had a big gig last night. I was compere at my children's school. They were hosting an International Evening with lots of the children and parents representing different countries. It was very cosmopolitan with loads of grub and booze that was capped by me performing with my two daughters and another parent. We represented Canada and Mrs D sang "Still The One" by Shania Twain and my kids played Flute and Recorder ( parts scored by Dad ) and Dad played guitar and did backing vocals. It was all going well until one of the teachers turned up with three lap-dancers and the headmistress started offering lines of cocaine to the caretaker who was puffing on one of those big Lebanese bongs filled with Champagne.........................The fine line between fantasy and reality is blurred again!!!!!!!! Next report will be post Liverpool and will no doubt contain some tales from Hairy Pie and fluffy scousers.