Sunday, October 29, 2006

10th June 2002

As I mentioned in the last "wise words" I was off to a wedding so I
thought I would give you all a good laugh and let you see what I look like
when I get suited and booted, and yes you are right, I could get a job as
a bouncer or at least a polite doorman. There was another picture of me
showing my best "Phil Mitchell" angry face but I thought it was unsafe to
let it loose on an unsuspecting public. The wedding we attended was in
Stevenage and it was a nice hot day and too hot to be wearing a black suit
and a tie. It was a good day and the reception was good fun. All of the
people there were friends of my wife whom I had not met before so it was
nice to put faces to all these names that I had heard. As usual somebody
thought it would be great fun to request "Relax"?? Wow, that's never
happened before?? I have to admit I did get up (under massive duress) and
throw a few shapes on the dance floor but it is something that feels very
alien when I haven't got a guitar slung around my neck. The bride and
groom had got a company to leave a disposable cameras on each table so you
could take pictures and give the happy couple "your memories" of the day.
Needless to say me and another guy ended up outside taking pictures of
each others arses. I can just hear the bride saying "That face looks
familiar??". We woke next morning and toddled down to reception which was
packed with people watching England v Sweden. not a bad game with England
disappointing as usual. I have decided not to do a World Cup update
because.............I can't be arsed. Bank Holiday Monday was Woodstick
day. my mate Yash was having a festival in his back garden and had erected
a stage and invited plenty of musos to entertain the crowd. I did a short
set in the afternoon but was not that keen on being "twat with acoustic
guitar" and left it to the many other bands there to do the entertaining.
You may remember I went to a party at Yash's house last summer which was
excellent and this one turned out even better. Firstly the rain held off
which was a good start and the compnay was very good as well. Met a mad
Jock, a mad turk who gave me my first hit of Aftershock, which tastes like
alcoholic toothpaste and not something I will be repeating, another mad
Jock who as breathing fire and juggling two fireballs on chains which was
truly excellent, Mad Tom, whom I met last year, who was addicted to my
Coronation Chicken (recipe via e-mail request). A couple of highlights
during the day were Eva Diablo rocking the people with tunes that the
people love 'til the early hours, a bunch of young girls playing "Smells
Like Teen Spirit" which had the best guitar solo I have ever heard by an
amateur, Imperial Leisure rocking the stage and nearly causing the PA to
collapse, and Guitar Man Ted playing a bunch a Alanis songs with his
daughter at two in the morning when she should have been in bed. On the
whole agreat day/evening with the only downer being a never won a fucking
sausage in the raffle despite buying £7 worth of tickets.
Next on the agenda for the week was the Ireland v Germany game which I
watched in The Erris Tavern which is an Irish pub near my house with Mr
Edmond Smart, an Irishman who is sharp of wit and and dry of mouth. I was
a great afternoon with fantastic atmosphere, especially when Keane scored
in the last seconds. By this time I was on my 7th pint of the black stuff
with a Jameson's on the side. This afternoon drinking is great until you
stop and I have to admit that I spent the hours between 7pm & 9pm having a
little snooze. Hopefully I will be back there tomorrow to watch the Saudi
Arabia game. I watched England v Argentina with 'Arris and Arky at
'Arris's house. It was very exciting stuff and a great backs-to-the-wall
performance by the boys in red. As usual everyone in the media gets
totally carried away with themselves and start proclaiming that England
can now surely win the tournament. I would have liked to have seen the
reaction from the press if the gust of wind that blew Michael Owen over in
the penalty area had blown over Gabriel Batistuta up the other end. I
think the headlines may have been "Cheating Argies Rob Our Boys Again!"
Back in the real world it would take a few spades of good luck and better
players than England have to win it and I can't see it myself but as long
as the World Cup party continues I wish them well.
I was off to another wedding yesterday and another first for me and the
missus. We attended the nuptials of my good mate Tony Sherick at a
beautiful synagogue in Marble Arch. I had never attended a Jewish wedding
before and it was an interesting experience with some very nice singing.
Tony's speech was excellent at the reception, especially when he turned to
his new bride and said "Now for the real love of my
life..............Liverpool FC". Luckily, being a footy fan, his wife
Rachelle saw the funny side. Nice to catch up with a few old faces and our
friends in the north ( I promise I will call in and see you Joz!!). We
didn't stay overnight at the hotel which was probaly just as well because
I would not be writing this "Headache-free" if I would have stayed
drinking with some of those chaps. Great comic moment of the day was when
some guy gate-crashed the reception and when he was questioned by the
groom he told him he was a friend of the groom. When Tony told him he was
the groom he looked a mite sheepish, absolute classic.
I will not be making the chat this week because I am out on the town with
a couple of mates who are visiting the capital so I will see ya nex tweek.
31st May
Well as you can see from the picture above I have finally got my control
room sorted out and I have put the soldering iron away for a little while.
Not much to report this week as I haven't been up to much with all my
renovation and I don't want to bore you with details of EDAC connectors
and 1/4 inch jack plugs. The newspapers and tv are all building up to the
World Cup and I sat and watched the France v Senegal game this afternoon.
If you didn't know who Roy Keane was a week ago then you certainly do now.
I hope his mummy helps him pick up his toys and put them back in his pram.
Enough said. I will be over at Yashs' house on Bank Holiday Monday as he
is having a pop festival in his garden. I am sketched in to do a little
acoustic slot so hopefully the weather holds out and the whole event is
not washed out by our famous British weather. The Queen has given all her
subjects the day off next Tuesday so we can celebrate her Golden Jubilee
which is very kind of her (text cannot express the exteme sarcasm behind
this statement). Tuesday is also my wife's birthday so we will be out
having a few. I am off to a wedding tomorrow and will be getting up very
early to watch ireland play Cameroon and hopefully the day after I will be
watching England play Sweden without a hangover. I am thinking about doing
a World Cup update and doing a page a day but we will have to see.

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